I'll be here
by Maliumkin
Summary: It's Severus' last year at Hogwarts. Things have not been easy, and it's up to Minerva to help him get through the night. And perhaps more?
1. Chapter 1

It was the first year in the whole of Minerva's career where the castle fell completely quiet as soon as classes ended. When the night fell, it seemed dead. She even missed those rebellious students trying to hide in an empty classroom after curfew, whose giggles she could still hear. Now everyone, children and adults, hid in fear. Hogwarts had lost its soul. Slowly, she headed toward the staff room, where she used to spend her long and sleepless nights staring at the fireplace. That room too had been, a very long time ago, a friendly and welcoming place.

A noise made her stop. Instantly she had drawn her wand, ready to confront one of the Carrows or any other death eater hiding in the dark. She waited. Another small noise, like a wounded animal, still a few steps away from her. It was near the headmaster's office.

"Lumos."

She gasped. Standing a few feet away, one hand on the wall and the other pressed against his chest was Severus Snape, his whole body shaken by violent twitching. His dark eyes were locked on her.

"Go away", he said with a hoarse voice. She was shaken by how pale he was. There was a thin trickle of blood running down his mouth. She had seen him unwell before, but never to that extent. But things had changed.

"I see that He who must not be named did not give up on his old habits," she said coldly.

She had wished him dead. She hated him and had thought she would rejoice in seeing him like this. But she didn't. All she saw was a broken, pathetic man who had once been her friend. She wondered if she should do something to him, taking advantage of his condition and putting him out of harm's way. Breathing heavily, the man suddenly grabbed his stomach and groaned in pain, standing unsteadily on his feet. Before she knew it, she was standing by his side, supporting him as he passed out.

She did not want him to die in her arms. It did not matter what it was, at this moment she knew she would help him. The door leading to his apartments was opened, he certainly had had time to say his password. She quickly conjured a stretcher and entered the room, looking for the bed and placing him there before searching for healing potions. She knew his rooms well. She had been in his living room more times that she could count, sharing with him a cup of tea or a strong bottle of firewiskey she always brought when the two of them felt they would not be able to confront another bunch of students without one. She had also, sometimes, nursed him in his room when he was too sick to protest and Poppy too tired to fight him and drag him in the infirmary. It often happened after one of their "meetings".

"Minerva."

She stared at him. Now that she could see him clearly, he looked terrible. Except for his cheeks, which were bright red, his skin looked deadly white; one of his wrist, torn in an unnatural angle, seemed broken. She could not help herself.

"I'll call Poppy."

"Why would... you?"

"Because you clearly are unwell, and I'm not going to let you die on this bed, am I?"

Severus did not answer. She did not know if it was the fever, of if the man had just gone mad, but he laughed.

"How did you manage... to survive that long." He started coughing and closed his eyes as some more blood ran down his mouth, staining the white pillow. Minerva, using a towel, wiped his mouth.

"I would ask you the same question."

Using his valid hand, he grabbed it and tried to get out of bed.

"What do you think you are doing? Don't move! You're in no condition to-

"Stop it, Minerva, stop this! I d- don't ne'd your pity and you know you don't want- don't want to help me. Now... leave."

She stared at him and caught his arm firmly. He winced. She would not argue because she knew she could not. She just felt she had to do it. Even if the man was a murderer.

"Don't... touch me", he said weakly.

"Then don't move while I am calling Poppy. And lie down, you are going to faint."

"She won't come... she doesn't... I must not... bother her."

Minerva stood up and crossed her arms.

"Did she say that?"

He didn't answer.

"Really. Well. I'll still ask her." She took a chair and pushed it closer to the bed. He .. some more blood. "You must be bleeding internally. Take this." She opened a vial of blood-replenisher potion. His black eyes met hers.

"You don't want to do this."

She felt angry.

"I don't. But I'm not going to let you die here. I am not one of yours."

There was a strange expression on his face. He closed his eyes.

"Please… leave." He whispered. "I don't… want your help."

"You do", she said firmly. He opened his eyes brutally.

"I killed Albus."

Minerva shivered. She felt furious, a cold anger that was running through her body. Why couldn't accept help? Why did he made her hate him? Why?

"Don't say his name", she said coldly. "Don't you have any form of dignity? Isn't enough to be a murderer? To have betrayed us all? We were your friends", she added with disgust.

He laughed. It was a desperate, horrible laugh which quickly transformed into coughing sounds. Some blood spilled from his mouth. "Then why are you here, Minerva? I'm a- he coughed- a death eater. I killed Albus and he- he- he even pleaded for me not to. And I did- he tried to catch his breath – I still did it- I-

She lost it. With a movement of her wans, she sent him flying across the room, right into the wall. He brutally felt to the floor. For a moment, he did not move. She approached him, her whole body trembling with anger. She had no control over herself. He was a killer, a murderer, he had killed one of her best friends. He had been one of her closest friends. They'd known each other for years, they'd learnt about each other, slowly, they had been colleagues, heads of rival houses, friends. He had betrayed them all, lied to them all and she couldn't understand how, or why- she'd been remembering all the moments they'd spent together, looking for a clue, anything she would have missed. She found nothing. And thus he had destroyed even more. All those memories were tainted with betrayal and pain. She couldn't come to terms with this. She could stop him from hurting even more people.

His gaze was unfocused, some blood running down his face. He was miserable.

The poor man.

And she hated herself. Because she knew she couldn't hurt him. Not in this condition. She thought he was going to say something; but his eyes rolled in their orbits and he simply passed out. She found herself standing over him, wondering what to do. Her anger immediately transformed into fear. Had she killed him? Was he going to die right there, at her feet? No. That wasn't her. "Severus", she called.

She cursed. Now she had to call for Poppy, no matter what the both of them thought.

"I'm not helping this man, Minerva. Are you mad? The whole school is in danger because of him. He killed Albus. You should just let him- let him…"

"No. You do not think that."

The nurse sat on one of the infirmary beds. "No. No I don't. But we can't help him. It's not like it was before."

"Poppy, we can't just let him die there."

She shook her head. "You-know-who always made sure he would come out alive of their… meetings. Because he needs him."

"I don't think it's just what they did to him. Please, Poppy. You know how much I hate to beg you to help _him_."

She sighted. "Fine. Just let me take what I need."


	2. Chapter 2

"I didn't know if I could use magic on him or even move him", said Minerva, kneeling beside him. "I got angry, please don't ask me questions. He hurt his head."

Poppy placed a hand on his forehead. "He's burning up." She turned to her colleague. "You realise we could just put an end to his rule over the caste right now."

Minerva shook her head. "I really don't like to say this, Poppy, but I feel he is the only barrier between the students and the Carrows' madness. Who knows what would be done to us all if the death eaters realized we'd done something to him."

It was Poppy's turn to sight. "Fine. I guess now that I see him, I can't just leave him here. But Minerva, if he keeps on hurting people, I will feel responsible."

They moved him to his bed. He had not moved to the headmaster's apartments, which Minerva had thought of as perhaps, the only sign of his guilt. They wouldn't have let him do it anyway. His apartments had always been very net: all was always in order and clean. He and Minerva had argued about that, as she had a secret tendency to let things quickly go out of control in her own rooms.

_"For Merlin's sake Minerva, you are a witch. Is a simple wave of your wand too much for you to perform? I don't expect you will find this book of yours until Christmas."_

_"Actually, it's my own way to store things. See?" she got the book they had been looking for from under a pile on her desk "I know exactly were things are". _

_"Still, those books should be in your library. Why do you have one if not to store your books?"_

_Minerva laughed. "And spend my Sundays making up my own storing system that even our librarian had a hard time understanding? No, thank you dear, I have other hobbies."_

_He had rolled his eyes. _

But his rooms were not so clean now. Only his books were properly stored: she guessed he just had had no time to read. There was something off.

Poppy was performing a diagnostic spell on him. His skin was now of a greyish, green colour, his cheeks flushed by the fever. The nurse quickly undid the top of his robes, revealing his bonny neck.

"He's in… he's in really bad shape. Worse than I ever saw him before," she said. "He has the flu to begin with, no wonder why he's so sick, severely underweight and dehydrated which is certainly why he got ill in the first place, his body just can't protect him anymore." she moved her wand further down and frowned. "It's an overdose".

"An overdose?" Minerva asked.

"Veritaserum overdose. Dear Lord, how was he even conscious in the first place? He should have been passed out from the beginning."

The other looked down at the man laying on the bed. "Isn't he supposed to be immune? Why would You-know-who do that?"

"It happened before. He said it was because the effects on the brain allowed You know who to have a much easier access to his thoughts when he was using legilimency on him. You have to be exceptionally powerful and skilled to fight the potion and his attacks at the same time. He was. But he's going to be very sick, his body cannot bear such amount of potion."

Minerva looked at her. "But why would You know who do that? Didn't he prove to him he was loyal enough? Was killing Albus not enough?" she felt angry. She didn't know why. Poppy paused.

"We can still leave him."

They fell silent. "Could he die?" Minerva finally asked. Poppy hesitated.

"If you want me to be completely sincere, then I can't overlook the possibility of him shocking in his own vomit while unconscious or die the next time his master decides to test him because his body won't be able to take it."

"Then I guess we will help him, Poppy. At least I will."

The nurse opened her bag and took several potions out she carefully placed beside the bed. "Minerva, I know I may seem heartless, but Severus was my friend too. I took care of him; I saw him in his weakest moments. I thought I knew him, too. I just can't allow myself to feel anything else than hate or disgust, because – because if I do, all of this will hurt even more. I don't need to explain this to you."

Minerva gave her a weak smile and moved next to her to help support the man's head. "I understand, Poppy. Very well, actually."

"I just wish… I just wish I could understand. I never imagined, never saw anything; what else did I miss?"

She cleaned his face with a wet tissue and made him swallow several potions; there was one to settle his stomach, another with nutrients, one to reduce the fever and another to alleviate his symptoms. In a few hours, if they had a positive effect, she would try to administrate a potion to help him expel the Veritaserum, and then give him muggle medicine. Minerva nodded. "I've spent days, weeks wondering what we'd done wrong, Poppy. I still don't understand. It feels like everything – everything was such a big lie, and I was so blind to it all, I saw nothing-"

"None of us did." She laid his head back on the pillow. "And that is what bothers me… If we couldn't see that our colleague was after all a death eater, a _friend_, what about our students?"

"I don't even want to think about it."

Poppy got up to bring a glass of water. "Why won't this man even drink? It is like he does not want to stay alive."

"He never knew how to take care of himself, after all", Minerva said sadly. They had tried so hard to make him better, to make sure he ate enough, that he got out of his dungeons once a week, that he came to the staff parties sometimes. And he had killed Albus. Just like that. She hated looking at him.

"I'll stay with him tonight if you want", Poppy said. "I'll just consider it my duty as a nurse."

Minerva sighted. "No, I'll stay. This could be an opportunity to look at him in the eyes and ask him why."

Poppy looked up. "Minerva… Don't do that to yourself. It's pointless."

"I have no other reason to take care of him. I nearly killed him just an hour ago, and if I can't even _try_ to understand- yes, I would just- leave him here. He did much more than killing a friend. It's because of him that everything collapsed."

Her colleague nodded. She knew that deep inside, she wanted answers too. Badly.

"Fine. He may have a concussion but we'll have to wait for him to wake up to be sure. We'll wake in an hour. Try to make him drink water as much as possible then." She stood. "I may try to hate him, but deep down I don't want him to die. I just can't bring myself to. I think… I think I pity him."

"I'll hate him when he tells me he did it cold-blooded."

They were silent.

"Minerva, even if he didn't, he killed Albus. What are you hopping for?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I really don't."


	3. Chapter 3

Just finished my mock exams so I had some time to write a quick chapter, the next will be the last one I suppose :)

Minerva woke in a start. The sun had not rose yet, but a pale, blue light came from the window behind her. It took her a moment to remember why she was here, then to understand why she had woken up. The bed was empty. Her first reaction was fear. She felt like she had just let a murderer escape, that the whole castle was in danger, and in a way, this was very true. Then she heard noise in the bathroom and quickly rose to her feet. It was the sound of someone throwing up.

"You could have asked for help, but obviously you don't do that."

There he was, half collapsed on the sink. He was horribly sick - one of his harms was pressed against his stomach and Minerva feared that he would just pass out.

"Why… are you here?" he asked. Then he was sick again, and she felt guilty to just stand there, watching him. But she could not bring herself to help him. After all, it was a normal reaction from his body, seeing the amount of Veritaserum he had been given.

"You will certainly find it unbelievable, but Poppy came to help you just a few hours ago. She left potions for you to take. You had some already."

Obviously, he did not remember that. "Just go away", he said weakly. She knew he hated to show any sign of weakness. She stared at him with even more intensity. "You're not even going to make it back to your bed."

"This is none of your business!" he shouted, losing his temper. He tried to gather himself. "Are you suicidal? No one must see you here. And you have… no reason… to be!" he finished with difficulty.

"I think your fever is rising up." Looking at the sink, she waved her wand and the mess vanished. Actually, there was practically nothing and she wondered when was the last time he ate something substantial.

Exhausted, Severus closed his eyes and pressed his burning forehead against the sink, cursing himself. It was true, his brain was fogged with fever, and he had never felt so ill; he thought of just passing out, too tired to fight the other witch. But he had the horrible feeling that, by his own fault, things could go very wrong. Minerva had to go. He had to speak with Albus. He could not think properly and felt incredibly frustrated.

Minerva sighted. As he did not seem to be about to throw up, she levitated him back to the bed and, taking out some medicine, decided not to give him any fever reducer. She sat beside him.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My stomach", he answered quietly, before groaning. The veritaserum was obviously still affecting him as he did not mean to answer that. He turned his face the other way.

"For your own… safety, Minerva, p-please leave."

"Oh, so you care about our safety. I must say we all feel very safe inside Hogwarts right now, _headmaster_." She watched as he whimpered in pain, his face growing paler. The fever was taking a toll on him. And despite it all, he looked angry.

"I… am… trying!", he shouted, before violently trying to get up. Minerva immediately rose to her feet, catching him to prevent him from falling and forcing him to remain sited. He rose glassy eyes at her.

"All you do is put the children in danger while you sit in Albus' chair," she spat at him. "How can you even look at yourself in the mirror, Severus? You achieved nothing."

"Tell Albus I'm not… I'm not sick I can't… I have to brew-"

Minerva sighted and felt her anger fade away looking at the now delirious man. She pushed him back onto the pillows with more gentleness than she thought herself capable of. He was unconscious for a few moments, certainly due to a drop in his blood pressure. When he woke up, she knew he should have been given the fever reducer a long time ago, but she felt some kind of pleasure, holding the vial in her hands.

"We have to… Albus' office… he asked for… a report"

Minerva shook her head. "Stop saying his name." She felt incredibly tired. "What did You-know-who promise you, Severus? What was so valuable to you that you could kill him?"

The man's eyes were unfocused, his breathing unregular. "To protect… Draco."

Minerva laughed almost hysterically. "Do not call that protection. What the boy wen through… None of us protected him! And you, of all, you should-

"Albus didn't- didn't care about my soul- but his… still a child."

Minerva couldn't decide whether he was incoherent or if he was reacting to anything she said. Each time he talked about Albus hurt even more, and she did not know how long she could take it.

"Did you look right into his eyes? When you killed Albus?" she almost shouted.

Even in his condition, Severus looked startled by her sudden loss of temper, finally looking at her. He remained silent a few moments, fighting against nausea and the urge to fall asleep.

"He pleaded… it was unfair…"

Minerva stoop up, anger flooding through her body. Severus closed his eyes. "I will… I hate… him…"

She exploded. "WHY, SEVERUS? WHY WOULD YOU HATE THE ONLY MAN WHO TRUSTED YOU? WHO GAVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE? WHO ALWAYS, ALWAYS TOLD US TO MAKE YOU ONE OF US? WHY?!"

The vial of potion had fallen from her hands and exploded on the floor. She was shaking violently, wand in hand. Severus' gaze darkened.

"I can't wait… to die… b't now I know I can't – I can't tell them I… didn't want to…"

Minerva kept silent, trying to gather her thoughts. She did not know what he was talking about. She did not know if he knew he was talking to her. She carefully considered speaking with her colleagues and ask them what they should do with him. She had the terrible feeling that had he been in a position of strength, had he been directly threatening her students, she could have killed him. But right now, when he was not a threat, she felt doubtful, desperate for anything that would have proven she had not been wrong for all these years, for an explanation, a clue, to understand.

Severus and her had become friends, she knew that now. It was very hard for her to

remember her time as his teacher, because she knew she had failed him. And certainly, many other Slytherins. He had disliked her as a teacher, she had disliked him as a student, thinking he was wasting his potential, and choosing the wrong friends. He could see it in her eyes. And that had been a vicious circle, for many years before her, and now, she feared, more than ever. Because Slytherins were a threat.

"What didn't you want to do?" she finally asked.

Severus' breathing was laboured, too difficult to be normal. "I swear I told Albus – I told you I did -not want to do it. And – and now – his portrait – always – always telling what to do – saying not to drink too much – but he knows nothing! He looked incredibly angry, even with his glassy-eyes. His head fell back on the bed. Minerva looked shaken.

"I thought Albus' portrait was always asleep. I thought he did not speak."

Severus laughed. He looked half-mad now, and she knew she should give him his potion. He was muttering and she could not understand what he was saying. She took a piece of wet cloth and wiped his forehead. "Here, drink this", she said. Her voice was not as cold as she thought it would be. He looked up at her. "I wish… I wish he… did…"

As he fell asleep, she went up to the infirmary to ask Poppy to look after him. She knew what she had to do, and hopped the castle would allow her.


	4. Chapter 4

She had not been in Albus' office since the year before. The staff hadn't been able to call it otherwise; the word headmaster had now had now such a dark connotation that it wasn't used anymore, except for hateful purpose. They had enjoyed using it when Severus addressed them, saying "Of course, _headmaster_" in such a cynical way he had often just looked away.

As she stood before the gargoyles, she wondered if she would need to talk, or if the old sculptures would remain motionless.

"I think the headmaster needs me to get in", she simply said.

They did not react.

"Severus is ill, and without my help he will not be able to carry out his duties."

She waited another moment. Finally, the gargoyles gave way. She stood there awkwardly for a while, wondering why Hogwarts would want to help an illegitimate headmaster and death eater. Or, if the fact the castle was letting her in was its way to protest against his illegitimacy.

As she went, her feeling of uneasiness kept increasing. She remembered the afternoons spent in that office, working on teaching plan with Albus or simply taking tea. Severus had been there several times; she remembered how in the last few months they had all spent so little time together. The office had not changed. It was like Severus hadn't touched anything; like he had never been there. She should have been glad. But all she could see was that many of Albus' objects were still on their shelves, as if now they were owned by the current headmaster.

As if now they were owned by You-know-who himself, assessing his power over Hogwarts, shoving his victory over Dumbledore right in her face.

She hadn't been there more than a few seconds when the familiar voice echoed over the room.

"Severus! I'm glad you are here, you looked rather ill and I feared-"

Her heart missed a beat. She made a few more steps, now standing in the centre of the large room. Albus' portrait was there, standing out from the others because of its too bright colours. The painted face was fully awake and staring surprisingly at her. Actually, she didn't remember ever seeing such expression on his face before. One second she was overwhelmed by the fact she could actually speak to her former friend- she felt the urge to cry out his name, to tell him how much she had missed him. She had often wondered, if she was ever to speak with his portrait, what they would say about Severus. Sometimes she had even felt angry at him, incredibly angry at him for having been so naïve. Would he try to explain himself, to explain Severus' behaviour? She had pictured him sadly looking down at her, unable to give her a proper answer. The idea of confronting him gave her a strange feeling of satisfaction.

But now, all she felt was a different kind of anger, a cold one, a mortifying realisation that she had been lied to.

"Minerva", Albus spoke. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I" she answered, shaking. But I assume you are looking for Severus, and would like, apparently, to enquire on his well-being." His familiar gaze was fixed on her, searching for anything that would explain her presence. It was oddly satisfying to be the one puzzling such a great wizard, and to be, for once, the one in control.

"Am I to understand, then", Minerva said after a short pause, "that you decided to remain in good terms with your murderer? Perhaps thinking he can still be saved?

It was another portrait who spoke. "Deputy headmistress", he addressed her in a deep, low voice, "did something happen to the headmaster?"

Minerva turned to look at him.

"I found him half dead in a corridor yesterday", she said blankly. Before any of them could speak, she pursued. "And the castle judged it would be in the school's best interest to let me in, apparently. Perhaps to get a piece of advice."

There were a few murmurs between the portraits. Even ones she could not remember to have ever seen awake before were now agitated. She turned to Albus, waiting for an answer. She deserved one.

He seemed to have been pondering his options. "I am afraid the school would suffer if something was to happen to him. Voldemort would take revenge on our students", he said in a rather matter-of-fact tone.

Mineral looked down at the headmaster's desk. It was the only piece of furniture that bore the markings of a different owner. On the wooden surface were piles of parchment and documents from both the ministry and school administration. To the left was a dark green quill, whose sides were, despite obvious care, worn out. Severus had not let in any of his colleagues in the room since he had been appointed headmaster, only seeing rebellious students there- who left with a greater will to oppose him.

"I see", she finally answered. "But you must know, Albus, that he chose his side. I perfectly understand it now."

The former headmaster held her gaze for a few seconds, certainly trying to understand what she really meant. She turned her back on them. "I'll see that he does not die, then."

Once outside the room, she rested a few minutes against the cold stone wall. The castle was almost silent, something never before seen in the school's history. She missed the sound of muffled laughers and children running down the corridors. But she wasn't sad. There was something like fire in her beating heart, hope she had not felt for many months. Yet she knew that no one should know.

When she came back to his apartments, Poppy was wiping her hands by making quick moves while watching over the man on the bed.

"Ah, Minerva, there you are. Look, he is already better, the nutritive potion did wonders. If he eats, he should be back on his feet in a few days. Though, for anyone else, I would have prescribed bed rest for at least two weeks."

Her colleague nodded. "Thank you, Poppy. I think we did what we had to." She watched as the nurse finished packing her things, eager to be left alone with Severus. Oh, if she knew, she would be so glad.

"You don't have to stay, Minerva. Knowing him, he will be able to manage himself now. We'll check on him if he does not re-appear in three days." She closed the door behind her, and Minerva listened to her steps until the sound faded in the upper floors of the castle.

She turned her attention back on Severus. It was true that he looked a little better: he wasn't so pale anymore, and his fever seemed to be lower; but he was obviously still sick, and had been for a while. He looked miserable under the heavy layers of blankets, but at least he was finally getting some sleep. She decided to wait for him to wake up, certainly this way his thoughts would be clearer.

When it was time for diner, she went herself to the kitchens to avoid summoning a house-elf. As she came back, and put down the food on the nearest table, Severus woke up.

"You will get yourself killed", he said in a foible voice, "get out now."

She turned to face him. "I think you haven't been honest with me, Severus. Tell me, why would you still speak with Albus?"

He tried to sit up and gave her an interrogative look. "I killed Dumbledore", he simply said.

She crossed her arms. "You did. And still, when I went into your office, his portrait was looking for you, and Fytherley Undercliff called you "headmaster". I must say, Umbridge never had this privilege."

It was a hint of how sick he still was, because he couldn't hide his shock for a second. He stared blankly at her.

"And you told me you speak with Albus. Regularly, apparently."

"I did not.", he answered sharply. "Or- or I was delirious."

"You were, but it does not mean you were saying nonsense. And you still had a fair amount of veritaserum in the veins."

She sat at the hedge of the bed. "Severus, it's alright. I know. Please, don't lie to me."

The former potion master seemed in complete shock, unable to make sense of the scene before him. He had failed, he thought in self-disgust. If anyone was to know, all could be lost. But she shouldn't have been able to get into Albus' office… she shouldn't have.

"They just let me in", Minerva told him as if reading his thoughts. "It happens sometimes, in case of emergency. You know that. Hogwarts… seems to consider you as legitimate headmaster. Which means you are working in the interest of the school."

He looked up at her. He seemed… afraid. He took a deep breath.

"Minerva, you must understand, this puts us all in danger."

The tension that had formed in the witch's chest gave way to a flow of emotions she had been containing for far too long. Without any warning, she took him in her arms, something she had never done before. Completely baffled, he did not move.

"So it's true then, it's true", she said, sobbing.

"I did not say-

"Yes you did", she said, moving away slightly. "You did! Don't you dare saying otherwise. Don't you dare! I am far from being stupid!"

Severus looked away, wondering if he wasn't getting feverish again. He felt so weak, so desperate… all he wanted was her to know.

"You will- I will have to take this memory off your head", he told her, lying down again. She pressed his right hand against hers. "I know", she simply answered. "It does not mean that you have to take everything out. I could just be an old woman, desperate to find anything proving her that a man she cared for didn't betray her."

"Legilimency isn't mind reading, it's just viewing and interpreting memories. But veritaserum, Minerva."

"We worked on that! I'm not as immune as you are, but I have mastered the art of answering questions without giving out information", she said, remembering the months of training the Order had been through. "Severus… Severus, I've missed you so much… I should have known before…"

"No, no you should not have. I should have been more careful. Don't you see? I failed, I failed _miserably_, I could- I could- I am putting everyone in danger. And our victory-

"Severus, calm down. You will take this memory off my head. There won't be any further evidence. And I am much unlikely to be questioned by You-Know-Who himself. You were sick, and that was out of your control."

Minerva did not know how she felt. She was surprised at her own calmness, as if relief and happiness were stronger than the initial shock and anger. Yes, she was incredibly angry. At Severus, but even more at Albus for hiding this from her- now she knew everything had been a lie for at least a year. She took a deep breath. Now wasn't the time.

"I have… missed you too, Minerva."

She smiled to him. "I have so much to ask you… and yet I know I won't get answers any time soon, will I?"

Severus shook his head. He felt incredibly tired. "No," he said, "the less you know, the better it is. And the less changes I have to make."

She brought him some food. "It has been a long time since I've tried to fatten you up", she said sadly. "Oh, Severus, I am so sorry. I should have known! I should. Don't mock me if I cry, I'm just an emotional old woman..."

As they ate, they found themselves unable to say anything more than banalities. As if the previous months had never happened. But as if something had happened, still. Severus was afraid to tell anything that would put her in danger. She, was remembering the things she had told him, and what she and the rest of the staff had done to try to get rid of him. It was not her place to speak.

Severus had taken her memory away. All she knew, until the end, was that she had the intimate conviction there was something more to his betrayal, the same she had had after her brief conversation with Albus, a memory she still had. And it was enough- enough to still play her part convincingly, and help him play his; enough to notice how little harm came from his punishments to the students, in the contrary of the Carrows. She knew that for their own safety she could not ask him to explain himself, but once or twice, she had called him by his first name, and pushed a plate toward him that one time he had to make an appearance in the great hall. If a death-eater had known, he would have thought she was delusional. But it was all Severus had needed. A reassuring presence. The certainty that, at least, someone would know.

She was the last there when he shook his head, despite her desperate attempts to heal his severed carotid. She knew it was a deadly wound. She took his hand and pressed it.

"I'll be there", she said, her mouth trembling.

He squeezed her hand, just one second.

And moved no more.

_I just wanted to give Severus a little comfort in his last year. It's all it would have taken to make me happy honestly, I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be hated by all your former colleagues and friends, and to die perfectly alone. But I wanted to keep it realistic, and it would have been too dangerous for them both to do anything more than- knowing. Thanks a lot for reading!_


End file.
